We wanted more

More raspy voices after piercing our lungs

More bubbles in the flat water

More hope in the air

Although we were drowning

We were more than just the humans masked in camouflage

Wrapping bandanas around our wrists

And trying to capture the air inside our clenched fists

We were the animals that started the war

The battle cry that’s whispered through gritted teeth

Because trying to sing the truth is just so…hard

Yet overwhelmingly beautiful when the notes do take shape

And flitter off the tongue

We wanted more

But we couldn’t scrape away at the edges of a globe

Hard enough to find more countries to swim to

More mountains to sprout

More distant people who didn’t know us

We wanted more

More fury more rage more clarity

More people with electric blue eyes to show us

How to be ignited, too

We were the fingers up the nostrils of the men

Who drove right past us

We were the silly figurines made of plastic

That kids melt with discovered matches

We wanted more

More abilities

More height more color more sympathy

We were more than just the animals

We were the glass chandelier people

Taped back up countless times yet somehow still

Lit.

Acid reflux climbs up my throat

And I’m scared

Scared that if I don’t close

The space separating the back of my throat

To my mouth

I’ll feel

A gurgling sensation

Or a tangy burn

So where do I go when I don’t want to feel anything at all

Do I take out my ribs

One by one

So that I can bend over myself

As many times as it takes to twist into nothing

Or do I flip my eyelids upwards

So that my lenses capture every image into thousands of shards

Which pierce my sockets with each blink

Do I force myself to forget you

Instead of savoring the cadence of your laughter

Soprano, yet somehow still too low for me to hear

Do I collect peach pits and run my tongue

Over all their dips and grooves

Do I walk barefoot until I have no skin left

Do I say I do to someone else

Do I keep on singing your name as my lullaby

Where do I go in the instances when I am no longer

Awake

Yet not yet

Asleep

When I’ve run out of places to go

Time no longer encapsulates my day

It no longer reminds me that I have places to go

Where do you go when you don’t want to feel anything at all?

this guy told me I look like Joni Mitchell today

best compliment EVER

fo’real

my slam poetry team (Grub Street) made it to the FINALS for LOUDER THAN A BOMB MASSACHUSETTS

un be liev able 

but let’s hear it for all the other teams because serious tears were brought to my eyes in a different light each time one of those beautiful souls went up their to bear the hearts on stage